Respect your neighbor as you respect yourself – says Maati

Serving with an organisation that reaches out to the poorest of the marginalized poor in the city of Mumbai, I get many calls and from ‘concerned’ privileged enquiring what we do. After showering all the flattering over us they then say that they would like to make a contribution towards the work. Then comes the next question “do you need any clothes, toys or books?” They think they have made us feel very thankful and elated at their noble intention but we are by now become quiet used to the guilt feeling in the voice of such donors. This is only confirmed in their next sentence. “Well actually my children have now grown-up and we have many children’s clothes, toys and books to give away.” Having grown tired of such queries, I too have my answer ready as if a professional call centre helpline is helping a customer. “Thank you for your concern but we do not accept used things”, An expected small pause comes another question from the other end, “Can you recommend me any other organization who is in need of such things”.

Reading in-between-the-lines, the conversation is paraphrased as follows:

Caller: Hello, does this organization work with the downtrodden and the underprivileged?

Response: Yes, very much indeed.

Caller: Well, I have a lot of garbage to be dumped and I wonder if you could help me dump it in their backyard.

Response: I am sorry, but we do not accept garbage. You might have to look elsewhere.

Caller: Can you suggest or recommend me any other reputed garbage collection where I can dump these things?

Response: I have a recommendation to make. Why don’t you sell all the garbage you have to anyone who needs it and with the money collected you can buy one new piece of material and we will be happy to accept that from you.

Caller: (Usually hangs up, or answers as follows:) The problem is that no one wants to buy these things and even if I manage to sell them the amount collected would barely be able to buy anything worthwhile.

Response: Well, thank you so much. (…..hang-up)

A lot of people today use the poor and the underprivileged as trash bins. In the past we have spent hours sorting out used clothes given by ‘concerned’ donors. These bundles are full of used and torn and unwashed underwear, smelly socks, shoes that even a dog would not want to nibble at, and computers that are nothing but empty boxes.

Sadly, the privileged considers the less privileged as a dumping place for things that do not need and are not able to discard them.

This makes me think the whole concept of ‘charity’. Charity is not giving away what you do not want. Charity is giving things so that others can enjoy things that you enjoy. Many seem to follow the saying of Christ, “Love thy neighbour as thyself”, but not quiet literally.

According to me, if you do not love yourself, you cannot love your neighbor. Sacrificial giving is not about punishing yourself for the sake of the have-nots. I call this giving out of a guilt-trip. Giving with joy is what brings joy to others and to you. God loves a cheerful giver.

I must say at this point that while I have come across many like the ‘caller’ I mentioned earlier, I have also come across many who are willing to give more than they themselves have, just to see someone else happy. This does not demand sacrifice, but it demands a respect for those who do not have the privileges that you have. Who am I to sacrifice for others anyways! Love thy neighbor as you love yourself.

If you give-up your mattress and fan just because the poor do not have it. You will only give hard beds and torn clothes to them. But if you love your bed and your luxuries, you will want to give the less privileged the same privileged as yours. You will not give the leftovers and out-of-date food to the poor but will buy additional food from what you eat and share that. You will not give away your unusable torn and smelly clothes to the poor but you will buy a new shirt for the poor man on the street.

You work hard and you have the right to enjoy all the luxuries you can afford. They are poor and have had no opportunities and hence do not deserve to be showered by your trash.

The next time you enjoy a hamburger and you see a poor person begging outside, buy him an equivalent. The next time you see someone in need of clothing, buy another one along with yours and share it. The next time you cook a nice meal for your family on a lovely Sunday, make sure you share a part of it with the poor. The next time you cozy-up inside your blanket, buy and share another blanket with the one who is shivering with cold just outside your window.

Its simple, Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Share with your neighbor what you love the most. That is love. That is charity.

And in regard to what you do with the things you don’t need: Do not buy more than what you need. Dump them in boxes outside charity shops. They will know what to do with them. But for you that is not charity. You are just dumping your trash.